I would do anything for the VCS but I won’t do that.

In my time working for this organisation I have done the following:

Cleaned toilets & pavements (in quite unpleasant circumstances)
Unblocked drains
Trimmed bushes
Dealt with shouting clients
Stared crisis and despair in the face at least twice a week and triumphed
Understood the budget which is like translating the Rosetta stone but really emotionally loaded
Coped with a workload that would kill a donkey (coped with some of it by ignoring it but still)
Mopped up tears
Produced accounts with no training or natural ability and with CEO in full Scary Mode, growling at me, grr
Restrained a bad dog
Entertained children
Put up flat pack furniture
Painted and drilled
Talked to important external people and not said anything too appalling
Navigated emotional waters so choppy they made the Trisha show look like an exercise in Victorian repression

And I thought I had no boundaries but now I have discovered one. In our business planning session today someone suggested we do a team building outing and I was forced to say, over my dead body/ when hell freezes over (I paraphrase: I was more polite). No really, let’s keep on doing our teambuilding like we’re doing at the moment, all falling out and sending marvellously passive-aggressive emails copied strategically to people and then making friends again and eating things. It might be dysfunctional, but, you know, I’m used to it now and if you put me half way up a Welsh hill in a canoe I won’t be answerable for the consequences. I mean it. No teambuilding. Oh my God. Paintballing. Building a raft with inner tubes and hope. No, I’m not even going to think about it, it’s too awful.

Abseiling. Kill me now.